I made it through ’09; let’s keep that going
0 Comments | Roanoke Times & World News, Jan 11, 2010 | by BEN BEAGLE
Now the year has ended and I haven’t been to see “Avatar” — which is not so surprising because I’ve just finished watching “The Great Train Robbery.”
There’s a flick, pal. I love the way the fatally wounded guys throw up their hands and fall down with no blood or bone fragments.
Today, the guy who gets shot flies all the way across Front Street and into the Trail Ends Bar and Barbecue, and his stomach injuries are real bad, and sometimes we can see the entrails.
And Matt Dillon gives a smarty a backhanded lick that will put him in the Dodge City Retirement Home for years.
Matt Dillon to the contrary, it’s time for us to look back on 2009. For one thing, I was still breathing as the New Year came in.
Check next Monday to see if I’m still here.
Thoughts on ’09
Among the good memories was the time I got into the branch bank while it was remodeling, which ain’t that easy to do.
If you can help it, never go to a branch bank that is remodeling unless you want to use the ATM, which doesn’t wear a sweatshirt with the bank’s logo on it and say “Good Morning, Mr. Stuffenagle.”
Did I remind you that I have also been watching “Casablanca” and telling my dog Max: “Here’s to you, kid?”
And I wonder why the TV didn’t show “It’s A Wonderful Life” 30 times during the holidays. All of us remember the way Jimmy Stewart winked when the bell on the tree rang and the angel got his wings.
Up until then I had thought all angels were feminine.
And there are those of us who wish Jimmy had jumped off the bridge and drowned.
And Donna Reed wouldn’t have married a bridge jumper who wasn’t all that good at bridge jumping.
Aside from Jimmy Stewart winking, I wish I could say here that I understand the way playoff teams are decided in the National Football League. But I lost my abacus.
But I’m working on it if Terry Bradshaw will shut up and stop acting like he’s, well, nuts. Which isn’t hard to do because Terry probably is, well, nuts.
I am purposely not mentioning Sarah Palin or Hillary Clinton or Bill Clinton because I think we have enough to worry about already.
I was going to mention Monica Lewinsky, but it looks like she’s disappeared. The last I heard she was peddling handbags.
Say what you will, I’ve always liked that girl’s hairdo
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